The time will come in your relationship when oral sex will be brought up. In fact, if one partner is a guy, you can almost guarantee it. If he's been giving a woman head and wants some for himself, you might want to think about reciprocating. If you're new to oral sex and are a little shy about it, here are some tips to get you through the first time. Chances are that you won't hurt him, if that's what you're worried about.
The best plan for this is communication! Talk to him, tell him you're unsure as to how to do this, and he'll probably be more than happy to guide you. Remember, practice makes perfect!
Getting in the mood
Ladies, make sure he understands that when it comes to blowjobs, mood is everything. Soft lighting, candles, all of this plays a part in you being in the mood to go down on him. Why? Because it's relaxing, and neither one of you are going to have any fun if you're not relaxed. Start by taking a bath together, if you can find a tub big enough. If not, take a shower. This will ensure that you're both smelling fresh, too. For some, giving head is a form of foreplay. If oral sex is the height of tonight's romp, however, start with another type of foreplay by licking, tickling, touching, tasting, and massaging. You want to get excited, and enjoy this as much as he will.
Start with your hand
Have him lean back against some pillows or sit on the edge of the bed or a chair. He's a guy; it's going to feel good even if you have him dangling upside down on a light post. This position is for your comfort. Stroke him, gently (very gently) squeezing his balls and then releasing. Think of them as stress balls, but don't squeeze so hard. Ask if you're unsure; check with him about how he wants you to hold his cock. The point of this exercise is to get him as hot as possible before you even use your mouth. The more excited he is, the less time oral sex will take, and if he's the type to go all night in other positions, you're going to want this to be over before morning. This is not because you're not having a good time, it's because giving head can be exhausting for a woman.
The tip of the penis and the base of the shaft are the two spots that you want to concentrate on when using your hand. Let your fingertips nibble for you at first. A very light touch, almost floating above the skin, is very tantric and exciting. If you take his hand and guide it to your clit, you can get him even more excited. When you're ready to use your mouth, the "69" position can be best to start with. He's getting excited, you're getting relaxed, and having you on top in the sixty nine position is by far the most comfortable for having that much cock in your throat. The angles of your throat and his penis will match much better in this position. Having him on top can make the blowjob a littler hard to control, so if this worries you, stay on top of him!
Go for the Throat
Now that he's hot and you're relaxed, you can take him in your mouth. Start with just your lips, and roll your tongue over the head of his penis. You can do this pretty much as long as you want, especially if you're still a little nervous. You don't want to hurt him, but you can't physically do this all night, it will cause your jaw and neck to hurt after awhile.
Start slow and take as much of him into your throat as you can; stop and back off if you need to. Use the back of your tongue in a swallowing motion and run your tongue around the shaft of the cock as you swallow. Pull back out and start sucking on him like he was a Popsicle, he will love it. Suck as hard as you want unless he indicates that he needs you to stop. Alternate the lips, tongue, and throat to bring him to climax. And ladies, try to swallow. His cum won't hurt you and if he's been expecting oral sex, hopefully he's been drinking fruit juice, it adds natural sugars to the semen and makes it taste better. Either way, spitting and then jumping up to brush your teeth will ruin the mood.
If you need help and he takes too long, use your hands as well as your mouth - the added stimulation may be just what he needs.
The secret to good oral sex
As much as you want to and love him, we talked about the pain in your neck and jaw. This will happen. The best technique for this to be as comfortable for as long as possible is to grab your jaw at the base and squeeze it with one hand. This relieves the pressure on the muscles around the jaw and will allow you to go longer. (This is another reason for soft lighting. If it's dark he probably won't notice what you are doing.)To take the pressure off your neck, as before, the "69" position is best for giving guys head.
The secret to not having to have his cock in your throat for an extended amount of time is to get him as hot as possible before you give him head. If you've already had sex tonight and he's cum once, forget giving head, unless you want it to take hours. If he's ready to burst before you even go down on him, it will still be pleasurable for both of you but you won't end up sore. Hot foreplay with sex toys are great for this purpose, especially if he's not expecting it. Give him a surprise and visit your local sex toy or adult bookstore alone to pick out something fun before the evening.
In Training
You can also train your lips, throat, and tongue. Exercising these muscles will increase stamina and help you feel more confident about giving head. The college students were right, using a banana or a cucumber to lessen your gag reflex really does work.
Start slow practice home alone, of course. Holding your lips in the "O" position for as long as you can and then repeating will strengthen them. You can do this while you're watching T.V. or reading--probably not a good idea while on the way to work using public transportation--or if you're really outgoing, invite a few of your girlfriends over for an exercise party.
Tongue exercises are the same for a girl as they are for a guy, but you won't need to develop yours as much. When guys are giving head, they primarily use the tongue, while women use the throat and lips. A type of tongue isometrics is best for women; hold your tongue curled back for as long as you can as often as you can to strengthen the muscle. You can do this one sitting at your desk at work.
If you follow these basic suggestions; comfort, training, foreplay, and willingness, you will become really good at giving head and he will really appreciate it.
